MY LIFE STEPS IN A OTHER WORLD OF CIRCUMSTANCES

I’m a young man just trying too figure it all out.
I feel like I’m searching for something, but i don’t know what it is.
I wake up and i want it, I go to sleep at night and i dream about it. I need it.
My mind is always on the hunt.
I feel like the person i am now will never find it.
The real me cant reach it.
this makes me constantly lie.
lying to change myself. I lie to people who don’t know the real me.
I can be anybody i want to be. At school im the cool guy and easy to get along with,
and at my families im the tough guy with no fear.

I lie so much i hate myself.
I hate myself for not being real but fake.
I’m always pretending to be someone else.
that’s why my life is a multiple personality.
i want to be real! I want to take my plastic heart out and fill my body with my pure blood.
I want people to like me for me not just one of the made up characters.
I want the real things in life.
i want to change for a living.

Just can’t imagine myself how life things changed,
I’ve confessed my life,
my true personality too my closes friends,
and gladly all of them accepted me as a human being,
and still treat me as a human being.,
although i still lie at the others eyes,
as long as you don’t step anyone else,
they won’t hurt you.
Respect them they will respect you back.

what if i still deny,
and i don’t show my true me,
is there any chance ?
i don’t think so,
i think I’m still backstabbing myself and dating girls not even satisfied on what I’m doing
its like, why should i fit myself in a small hole which is not meant to be,
my life circulates in a different world already.,
and all of a sudden many things happened and changed.

many people are asking me why?
why all of a sudden?

i answered back
i also don’t know why.,
one thing for sure i just fallowed my heart,

MORAL LESSON FROM ONDOY

You know you can not blame what happened to our beloved home land, this is a tragic and you need to face it no matter what.

It is hard to realized many Filipino pass away many homes vamoose in split second, many Filipino people struggle for their lives to live.

I me myself never wished for any of these to happen, Lots of Filipino lives were taken, lots of Filipino family were devastated nor Rich or Poor no one got escape and lots of dreams were shattered.

As a Filipino I worried so many things, even I can’t stop thinking why things like these happened to us.

I’m glad that my family are safe and in good condition right now, but what about them, are they in good condition? I can’t properly answer that by saying yes, maybe or it depends.

Because I’m not there to see what really happen I’m not them to feel what are they are feeling right now; frustrated, depressed, mad, and disappointed? YES! They are.

But deeply in my heart in my soul in my mind I can feel them; it is hard we know it is hard.

Life is a lesson,

Problems is a lesson

Things what happened is a lesson

By that I’ve learned!

I’ve learned so many things that will keep me alerted and be prepared. Things in our lives are not in God’s bare hands it is still we hold our on lives, you’ll never know maybe one day it will happen again, we can’t judged the mother earth and blame things out.

But I want you guys to realize how lucky we are standing right now here breathing smiling and keep in touch with our family.

i felt guilt right now because I’m sitting here in front of my computer doing nothing and relaxing while having a break with my cigarette, but out there many Filipino people are struggling to death and looking for their love ones.

but we us right now doing nothing chitchating don’t care anything, that is extremely vague and doltish. Gladly I’m quite happy that even a simple help, i already helped my nation simply preparing this goodies and ready to deliver to the people are in deeply needs.

I want to thank my family for giving me the pledged I really love you guys. To mother earth we are sorry for destroying your mother land were sorry, to God I’m deeply apologizing for doubting so much things and blaming you for no reason at all it is my fault. And I’m very sorry.

Things happened and every one of this will be our lesson and our guidance, I felt guilt till now and then.

Now let start a new life new beginning and hope it will end up good, because life is a gift, and living it essentially is the only we can show our sense of obligation.

LET US BE THE CHANGE

TODAY I START THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE.

[ A short prayer for our beloved Filipinos and to our Nation]

Our Father in Heaven, we humbly pray to You as a Nation. We plead to Your merciful heart that You may look upon us with compassion. We pray for our brothers who have lost their lives. Receive them into Your heavenly kingdom. We pray for those who are lost and those who are trying to get home to their families. Make their way easy. We pray for those who have lost their homes. Give them comfort. We pray for those who are still exposed to the bad conditions and awaiting help. Give them strength. Everything we do for our unfortunate brothers, we offer to You & Your Glory. All this we pray in the most Holy Name of Jesus.

Amen.

let us be the change [ondoy]

Let me be the change i want to see, to do with strength and wisdom all that needs to be done… and become the hope that i can be.

set me free from my fears and hesitations, grant me courage and humility fill with spirit to face the challenge and start the change i long to see.

TODAY I START THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE

even if im not the light i can be the spark, in faith, service and communion let us start the change we want to see the change that begins in me.

Ang Sagot

Pag ka gising ko nang umaga hindi ako mapakali kasi nag low bat ang cell phone ko. Pinag papawisan at init na init sa lagay na hindi komportableh.

Kinuha ko ang charger ko at sinaksak sa plug. Nang ako’y nag chacharge nang cell phone hindi eto gumana, na aasar, na pipikon na iirita na ako, kaya ginawa ko hiniram ko ang charger ng kapatid ko.

Nakikita ko nag cha-charge na ang cell phone ko at natutuwa ako at di ma pakali. Binuksan ko ang cell phone ko at inilagay ang pin code at ang lock code, ganito kasi ako gusto ko maging safe ang cell phone ko kaya lagi may security ang bawat application ng aking folder. Nang binuksan ko na ang messages folder ko at nakita ko ang kanyang pangalan, bilis bilis kong binuksan ulit.

As usual isang word lang naman yun with letter “S’’ ano kaya yun? (SORRY or YES) eto ang kanyang sagot.

“YES “ at ang sumunod na text niya ay

“baby tayo na SORRY pinag hintay kita ah”

Natutuwa at kinikilig ako nung sinabi, hindi ako mapakali sa lugar ko at tumatalon sa saya.

Ang sarap pala nang feeling na mag karoon ng first girlfriend, aaminin ko, sa iba na nagging M.U ko lang sila wala lang fling fling lang palambing effect and what so ever, pero mag karoon ka nang seryosong relasyon hindi rin pala magandang biro kasi masarap pala eto, ang ibig kong masarap, masarap pala mag mahal lalo na pag mahal mo talaga ang isang tao na hindi mo na talaga kailangan pakawalan pa.

Sarap ng feeling nang nan jan palagi sayo at hindi nawawala sa paningin mo, sarap pala ng feeling na lagi may nag aalaga sayo, sarap nang feeling pag katapos mo mag basketball pupunasan ang pawis mo sabay kiss sa lips, with tender love and care.

Anim na buan na kami mag ka relasyon at maayus naman ang takbo nang buhay namin, kahit hindi parin niya ako pinapaalam sa magulang niya. Kahit ako diko parin siya pinapaalam sa magulang ko pero ang nanay ko alam na may girlfriend ako at nakikita niya ang pictures nakasama ko siya. Masyadng paki-ilamero ang nanay ko pati ang wallet ko pinapakialam, kaya ayun nakita niya ang picture nang aking girl friend na si DONISIA. Wala naman sa akin yun maganda na rin na nakita ni mama ang itsura ng girlfriend ko wala naman siyang sinabi hindi nagging negotibo ang kanyang mga sagot, natutuwa pa nga ako pinuri pa niya ang naging girlfriend ko

“model ba ito anak” sabi nang nanay ko.

“hindi po mama” , “pero gusto talaga niya maging model.”

Nakita ko ang mga ngiti ni mama at natutuwa siya, “wag mo nang pakawalan eto anak mukhang mabait naman at sa tingin ko magiging maayus ang takbo nang buhay niyo” natutuwa ako narinig ko ang mga ganung salita subalit.

Una Kitang Nakilala

Araw na nung una kong siyang nakita, hindi ko siya masyadong pinansin kasi hindi naman ako yung tipong nag papansin sa isang tao na hindi naman eto mahalaga.

Maliit na tao morena at may itsura, pero sabi ko wala eto, marami naman ang tulad niya sa mundo bakit ko pa kailangan sumingit at mag papansin pa sa kanya.

Subalit nung araw nayun inigaw niya ang pansin ko. Isang araw nasa loob kami ng classroom, hindi ko siya kilala at hindi niya ako kilala, hindi kami nag papansinan hindi kami nag uusap pero sa araw nayun katabi ko siya sa loob ng klasrum.

Nasa pangalawa kaming linya at ako yung pangalawa sa dulo ng upuan at siya ang huli, nung oras na natapos ang pag pakikilala ko sa sarili ko at pinakita ko ang talents ko at sino ang kamukha kong celebrity, ang sabi ko ako si bitoy kamukha ko kasi si Michael V., mataba ako nung araw nayun at ang ngiti ko ala Michael V. din, nang pagkatpos ko, siya na ang umeksena.

Natulala, nagulat, na pa ngiti, ano kaya tong pakiramdam na eto, lalo ako na patulala nung oras na kumakanta siya, na pa elib ako at biglang tibok ng puso ko, na walang kadahilanan, sapagkat ako’y nag dalawang isip kung anong pakiramdam na ito.

Eto ba ang tawag na “love on first site”, marami ang naniniwala sa mga kasabihan na ganyan, pero diko alam kung maniniwala ako o hinde.

Patapos na ang oras at mag bebreak na, hindi ko parin siya kinakausap at diko pa siya pinapansin pero na alala ko nung oras nag pakilala ako sa harap nang maraming tao na alala ko ang kanyang munting ngiti, ngiti na malalaglag ang puso mo sa sobrang ganda ng ngiti niya, simpleh pero malakas ang dating.

Palabas na siya nang classroom at diko parin siya nakikilala pero kilala ko na siya kung sino siya, hindi ko naman ibig sabihin alam ko na ang pag katao niya, kilala ko siya dahil nakilala ko ang pangalan niya sa isang simpleng introduction at pag pakikilala sa harap.

Itago na lang natin ang pangalan niyang “DONISIA”.

Oras na ang labasan at palabas na siya nang rum iniisip ko kung hahabulin ko siya para makuha ang number niya or pababayaan ko na lang at darating din naman sapunto makikilala ko pa siya nang ilang buan.

Pag ka lipas nang ilang linggo eto nanaman kami, sa mga oras na eto mag kakilala na kami nag uusap at nag papansinan na, pero pakipot parin ang feelings ko sa kanya, hindi ko na pansin na ang kaibigan niya ay kaibigan ko din pala.

Na ikwento ko sa kaibigan ko na may natitipuhan ako sa loob nang classroom, at sinabi ko eto sa kanya. Ang hindi ko alam mag kakilala pala silang dalawa at na ikwento niya nga kay DONISIA na may gusto ako sa kanya.

Araw na yun na hiya na ako lumapit sa kanya at mag papansin sa kanya, dahil sa tulong ng kaibigan ko nag plano sila na mag karoon ng date sa moa, wala akong nagawa kung di sumang ayon na lng sa sinabi nila nan dun na tayo wag na natin pakawalan pa.

Nasa mall kami at lalo ko siyang nakilala at lalo niya akong nakilala, ang sabi niya funny daw ako, very entertain person and simple but unique.

Na touch ako sa sinabi niya hindi ko alam kung binobola niya lang ako, o totoo ang sinasabi niya, pero ayus na sa akin yun na narinig ko ang side niya towards to me.

Pag katapos nang tatlong linggo umakyat na ako ng ligaw sa kanya, harap harapan pa mismo sa kaibigan niya at sa kaibigan ko. Maraming pag kakataon na dapat hindi mo dapat palagpasin, natatakot ako nung araw na yun baka ma busted ako sa harap harapan ng kaibigan ko at sa kaibigan niya ngunit, hindi naman ako na busted hindi naman ako na pahiya kung di ang sabi niya hintayin mo sagot ko mamayang gabi.

Napag tanto ko na ano kaya ang magiging sagot niya sa tanong ko, ito ba positibo o negotibo, kinakabahan, pinag papawisan hindi mapakali. Text ako ng text sa kanya nang, kumain kana? Musta ka na? baby I love you? Ang cheesy? Oo! Pero ganun talaga pag nag liligawan factors pa kayo.

Hindi siya nag rereply, napaisip tuloy ako, kung busted ba ako o hinde, o siguro nag iisip parin siya. Nag hantay ako ng ilang oras para lang sa sagot niya hangang sa naka tulog na ako. Biglang nag vibrate ang cellphone ko, at alas dose na nang hating gabing yun.

Na received ko ang text niya, at kinakabahan kung ano ang sagot niya, at kung anu ang magiging sagot niya. Binuksan ko ang messages ko at pumunta ako sa inbox ko, nakita ko ang pangalan niya subalit hindi ko pa mabasa ang text niya, pinindot ko at binuksan ko ang message niya, ang bilis nang pag tibok ng puso ko hindi mapakali, lalo ako nagising kasi gabi na yun at mag uumaga na. pinag papawisan ako at di ako mapakali.

Pag ka bukas ko nang inbox ko at nakita ko ang reply niya, eto ang tumumbag sa akin one word with letter “S” is it possible “SORRY or YES” you guess? Ano kaya ang reply niya sa akin?

PANDARAYA (CHEATING)

TAGALOG BLOG

Lahat na lang nang bagay ay mayroong pandaraya, kung san Kaman mag punta makikita mo to sa apat na sulok nang bahay niyo, nag taka kayo? Wag kayong mag taka kasi totoo eto.

Bawat sulok nang ating bakuran may pag kukulang dahil masyadong tinitipid ang matiryal na ginagamit nang mga trabahista, dindaya na lang eto upang hindi mahalata na hindi ito kinulang, pero sa titignan mo, makikita mo ang bakas ng pag kulang sa bawat sulok nang iyong bakuran.

Parang buhay natin to pa ikot ikot sa apat na sulok nang bahay, bawat sulok nang ating bakuran ay mahalaga eto, pero ang tanong pinag hahalagahan ba natin to? Sa tingin ko ngayon hindi siguro, kasi sa mga nang yayari sa atin may pandaraya na lng na sasabwat, na hindi naman kailangan isama pa.

Tulad na lang ang pag biyahe biyahe ko minsan, alam naman natin may bawas na pursiyento para sa mga estudyanteng tulad natin, pero, anung gingawa ng mga tsuper mga driber mga trisikel driber, hindi tayo sinusuklian na tamang presyo na dapat nilang ibigay sa atin, isipin mo nalang limang estudyanteng sumakay ng jeep nag bayad walang labis walang kulang pero may sukling matitikman, alam naman natin na sa bawat pasaherong estudyante ay anim na piso lng eto, pero tapat ba ang mga tsuper sa atin? Isipin mo na lang sa limang estudyanteng iyon hindi masuklian nang tama magkano na agad ang naibulsa nila? Limang piso agad.

Isipin na lang natin sa mga ganung bagay kailangan pa ba natin lokohin ang kapwang pinoy tulad mo tulad ko at tulad nang lahat, dapat na tayo mag ka isa at mag tulungan at maging tapat sa katotohanan.

Hindi sila tapat sa katotohanan hindi nila tinutupad ang batas na binigay sa kanila, tama ba eto o mali? Lagi na lang may kulang pag hindi mo papansinin hindi kikilos parang pakong binaon mo sa kahoy na hindi na gumgalaw, mag bibingihan pa ba tayo? Kailan pa ba tayo magiging tapat sa katotohanan? lagi na lang ba tayo ganito at mandadaya? dadayain mo pa ang kapwang Pilipino mo.

Kalian ba tayo kikilos at hindi na gumawa nang ganitong mga bagay? Ma iiwasan mo pa ba ito o tukso eto dulot ng ibang impluwensya ng mga tao, bakit kailangan natin gayahin sapagkat kaya naman nating iwasan ang mga bagay na ito at maging tapat.

Aaminin ko ako may pag kukulang din sa sarili at hindi ko kinahihiyang pakita eto, tulad na lang ng mga final exams ko sa kolehiyo umasa ako sa selpon ko, sa selpon ako umasa na makakuha ako nang mga sagot para may maisagot ako sa papel na hinahawakan ko, aaminin ko nang daya ako, pero bakit ko eto ginawa? Malaking pag sisi ba ang ginawa ko? baka pag dating nang panahon pagsisihan ko eto, ngunit di parin ako nadala at inulit ko eto, hangang matapos ang huling examinasyon naming sa kolehiyo.

Maganda ba eto o masama? Makaktulong ba eto o hinde?

Tulad na lang sa tindahan na pinagbilihan ko nang gulaman tapat ng iskul namin, bumili ako nang siomai dahil na gutom ako. Tatlo sampung piso bali anim bente pesos, tama naman ang bilang nang siomai na binigay sa akin walang labis pero may kulang. Noong oras na kakainin ko ang siomai ko takam na takam ako at sarap na sarap sa luto ni ate liza,  sa oras na pasubo ako sa huli kong siomai, nag taka ako bakit walang laman ang shomai ko? Tinawag pa tong shomai, ang natira ay wrapper, para akong kumain na lobo na biglang pumutok sa bunganga ko. Sa halagang bawat shomai na binayaran ko ay higit kumulang na 3.50pesos ang isa or higit pa sa 3.50pesos ang laking pandaraya agad ang nakuha sa akin di pa ako na busog sa kinain ko.

Ang hirap talaga nang buhay ngayon lahat na lng may pandaraya. GAS, SHELLANE, BIGAS, PRUTAS at iba iba pang pedeng idamay. Kailan ba tayo titino? Kalian ba tayo kikilos? Kalian ba tau mag pakatotoo sa sariling atin? Magsikap na tayo.

A Metamorphosed

He was afraid that no one will adore him, which is why; he is starting to be pique. He was afraid that coming years, he will be the same person who he is,And he was starting to freak out like Sapphic.

He was afraid that he will remain who he was, which is why he is starting to panic; He was afraid he will not change for a living, a living that will transpose his life.

He was not that confident enough who he was, because of his personage figured.

Asking him why?

He was not confident at all, he admits it. He has moments of weakness like most men were or women; he doesn’t feel his best at all. That is how he started doing what he does. He felt very ordinary and not very glamorous so he decided one day that he was going neither to make nor to have his own dream world.

He thought that there are no more chances to change his extent, because he felt that whatever he does it is useless, he felt that he will die as soon as possible, he felt impervious to himself, but everything suddenly changed.

One day he was walking a long the street and saw this magnificence cartel, he was curious about it, after knowing all about it, he was interested and extremely amused.

He came back and tries it once again, after trying those he was delighted and satisfied. He continued trying it, until he got addicted and devoted. He continuously does it for 5months until he got his deserving results.

It is not easy for him, he admits, as the matter of fact there is a lot of things to forgo and sacrifice, until you attain your deserving wants.

He sacrifice his friends his social life and his daily routine, just to go ahead on what he was doing. It was hard for him and knotty only to pursue his goals.

He became what you called anorexic, an eating disorder markedly reduced appetite aversion to food, and in short he is conscious.

They said it is only a psychological disorder which is definitely true, over time; the weight loss becomes a sign of mastery and control.

The drive to become thinner is thought to be secondary to concerns about control and fears relating to one’s body.

The individual continues the endless cycle of restrictive eating, often to a point close to starvation. This becomes an obsession and is similar to an addiction to a drug, which is what happened to him.

Yes! He was addicted, so much addicted.

Now why worry so much? Now that he got what he wants, has anything changed? He said yes. Yes there is,

his life style changed he also changed the way he wore his clothes, he also changed his habits, his physical appearance changed too, he minimized his alcohol intake and his smoking habits although he still smokes but the maximum sticks the he takes is much lesser than before, he became more active and more attracted to others means a new era. Who wouldn’t be attracted to him because of the big changed that he had to himself.

There’s a story behind it why he pursue dieting, the reason is, he was petrified that being obese will not satisfied your love style.

We know that we have different perspective in life, but for him it was his thoughts that being obese is not good although you can grasp different illnesses which are not good and also being so thin is not also good, but having a nice and healthy living for sure you can avoid those things.

One thing I had learned here,

No matter what, what you are or who you are, fat or thin sexy or slim it doesn’t matter anyway; it is not about your physical outlooks but your attitude beneath on you.

It’s still your decision in life, it’s not all procrastination but more on earnestness of you.

“Ore no inochi ni monogatari yo” [My Life Story]

My mom was in love. So in love that she felt their relationship will last long enough until they get old, she felt brave enough to just take on the whirlwind romance full force. Doltish, yes, but why are we all laid back then? six years and a half being into a relationship, I was brought to life.  My mom fled. She placed herself in self exile. Vanished from the outside world living under her sister’s wing, her family received a surprise call from her moments before she went into labour. And there I was… a dramatic entrance indeed. without them for sure I would not be here after all.

I would say that my parents did a great job raising me, but I am getting ahead of my story. Asking me where I’ve been? I was raised in Dubai since birth until I reached my teenage life.

I studied in United International Private School “U.I.P.S”, the First Filipino school in United Arab Emirates Dubai. I was 5 years old or 6 years old then when I started schooling, the first thing that came into my mind is education. I have instilled in my mind that this will be my tool toward achieving my goals and most importantly, to attain success for a brighter future.

Pre school and primary education as they say is vital in molding a child’s values and  beliefs. This is the stage where the foundation of a child is being honed.  It is conducted on the theory that education should begin by gratifying and cultivating the normal aptitude for exercise, play, observation, imitation, and construction. Challenges came my way when I reached my elementary days but it did not hinder me from achieving my goals. In fact, I have gained so many friends and it has even made me a better person having focus in life.

To make my story short, during my elementary days, it has become very exciting and memorable to me. I get to join in different clubs or organizations which suit my field of interests like engaging into sports activities such as volleyball, table tennis and basketball. My dad was overwhelmed because of my being athletic or sportsminded even at a very young age. I started indulging myself into different sport activities when I was in grade 4 and I was able to sustain my interest until I reached my graduating year. Aside from sports, I was also encouraged by my teachers to join the choir. And I made it also to the choir because my teachers believed in my singing talent.

Nothing can be greater than my high school years. It was actually the best years for me. It was very exciting and memorable. Building one’s self and establishing friendship with others was an unforgettable experience and everything else was treasured. Nothing can be compared to the time and bonding spent with pals. Not to forget moments like being recognized up on the stage with parents who feels proud pinning medals for the achivements attained. And finally, the most awaited graduation day came. It was really a mixed emotions at that time, being away from classmates and friends. Soon be having our own lives when we reach the collegiate level. It was really an unexplainable feeling since we will be entering another stage of our lives.

One thing I realized, sending a  kid  to college was not easy for parents. It takes a lot of hard work to be able to send one to the best universities. The nerve wrecking fees to be paid by them. Of course not to mention the top pick universities. I do salute my parents for the great effort and support they have been extending to me.

The universities was recommended to us during those days that we’re still there in Dubai, the cost to take this entrance exam was $100, exuberant? well its for you to decide. The is not a problem. That was one of the memories that I cherished because of the pressure, excitement of passing the entrance exam and getting accepted in one of those universities. And choosing the  right course that you really liked. Luckily, for me i don’t have to take any of those Universities entrance exam, reason being is I’m looking for the right one or course for me that will fit my personality and my skill. For me, the  decision that I have to make, will be tantamount and choosing De La Salle College of Saint Benilde and taking the course really fits me, Because I really love to cook, and cooking is my passion and that is my skill not talent , but before we jump to my college life. i would like to share something about my languishing and mirthful moments of my life.

I was seven years old when i started playing golf in Dubai. the story goes like this, when my dad was on a horse racing event in Nad Alsheba Golf Club, He met a guy, the guy works in one of the golf courses in UAE, after convincing my dad, he started teaching us the basic and fundamentals of golf,  It is slavish and hard, first of all, i don’t even know what golf is, luckily i learned and i became a great golfer, but everything is consolidated in the beginning, the matter of fact if you love what you are doing and you motivate yourself to learn, everything will be cushy just put your heart on the game.

Then I started joining tournaments when i was eight years old, that was 1999 winning some and losing some. Suddenly everything burned up like fire. My career my life my sports was abruptly came to a halt, because of the incident that happen with my dad in his company

Everything change, our life style also change, our status is like jet coming from the top going down to the ground. it was hard for me because i didn’t even experience anything like this, It was test from above and I think we already passed the test. well it is also good that I came out in this situation and come to realize that no matter what your standings in life are, its not important, lessons are learned and it brings out the person in you. Now i realize how lucky i am to be meteor with possessions that i don’t even thankful of.

OK let’s move on past is past let the experienced be your guidance and your lecture. But at that worth, I though of every endeavor I had undergo just to become what I am today who am I right now. It was more than entertaining, it was instigative for somehow. But asking myself who am I and what am I.

“Boku Wa Dare” [Who am I]

WHO am I?

Honestly even I, can’t answer this question, but I will try to figure it out who really em I. let say that I’m a living creature, standing up here in the planet, I’m a human being, that exist here in the world, not only buy my existence, but truly my innerness action that’s why i exist here in the world.

We, us, have their different kind of Personality, Nationality, Religion, Attitude, Experiences, and so on! We maybe smart, or not, or we may be rich or poor. Recently on my studies, being is “parousia”, being also has existence to be a being, that’s why I’m a being who exist on this world, so what am I pointing out? Because, this is the most fundamental question that i ever thought.

If I compare myself into a tree, the tree will say, who am I? The tree will say  “I’m a tree” who also grow, and transmuted, I give oxygen to people, giving fruits; I have roots to remain in my position and absorb water from the ground and live. Comparing myself to a tree I also, grow, changes countenance,, I breathe, gives jubilant and experiences to others, I have feet to walk, and I also feed. Base on my comparing the tree has existence to be a being, that’s why tree is a being because it exists!

So who am I to you anyway? Let’s begin i”m a human being and you are human being, but what kind of relationship do we have? Do we have the same language? That’s why we can relate ourselves to each other; do we have the same nationalities? Definitely yes or maybe not,

So who am I?

They often tell me, I stepped from my cell’s confinement Calmly, cheerfully, firmly, like a squire from his country-house.

Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders Freely and friendly and clearly, as though it were mine to command. Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune, equally, smilingly, proudly, Like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself? Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, struggling for breath, as though hands were Compressing my throat, Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, tossing in expectation of great events, powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, leering in disorder from victory already achieved?

“Watashi wa Nande” [What am I]

WHAT am I?

Why am I doing this? I’m doing this because I want to know what really I am Let start from the beginning, let’s go back to my elementary life.

It’s started with a dream just a simple dream, when I was 6years old, my father push me to play golf, I know! I don’t really know what golf is actually I don’t really love this sport, Because it’s bromidic But when I was trying this for the very first time, I proved myself that I was erratic,

I realize that this sport is not really bromidic at all; it’s set up your mind, your concentration, your relation with the sport, your temper, and so on.

I was playing golf about 10years, actually only 8years I stop for 3years and i felt bad for that. I already compete, more or less 120 tournaments, And all over just half of it, I thrived to win some of the tournament with trophies in my hands.

It’s really backbreaking to compete with others different nationalities. You know the sentiment feeling after you pulverized your opponent face to face? You know that feeling? It feels like your always number 1.

My dad is really blissful and happy for me on that young age colliding with the big world already. Competing, a challenge in your life and change with rewards it is already a big applause,

Why not other challenges besides golf right? I’m just comparing it in reality.

The really question is what am I on this situation? Let say that I’m a want to be tiger woods some day! But it didn’t happen! So it means I’m not 100% comply. So what am I really? This is just a start! I don’t really know what am I yet? But let’s continue.

I was 9years old when I decided that I want to be a veterinarian someday, then I turn 11years old I decided that veterinarian is very herculean for me, so I choose to be a pilot, then I turn 14 years old I realize that pilot will not conformed me, because it related with numbers, for short math, and I hate math, so I choose to be a nurse someday, so wait a minute all suddenly changed when I turn 15years old I’m already a 4th year high school that time. I found out myself that I want to be a chef, yes a chef! Because, my ability in cooking and preparing really obliged  me, I love to cook, make new dishes, inventing new food, and new taste.

That’s why I’m here in De La Salle – college of saint benilde, taking up Bachelor of Science in hotel restaurant and institution management, majoring in Culinary Arts. Now I’m half a way I’m already 3nd year college 1st term student, still studying rigorously to reach my goals. i know there’s a lot of challenges to concurred and I’m ready for that,  so what am I right know? So let me answer that question

I’m just a kid who always wear a fantastic clean suit with a matching  tie, a kid who always dreamed about something that one day he reaches his goals, a kid who fails and stand up to get back to tracks, a kid who have a passion, a kid who sets a goal for his future, a kid promise that he will become a successful business man, a kid who cares about his obligation, a kid that will not fail his father, and a kid who’s competing in a big world! So what am I?

“I AM JONATHAN I VIRAY JR. 18YEARS OLD! A MAN WHO COMPETES EVERTHING TO REACH HIS ENTHUSIASM GOALS TO BE A GREAT PERSON TO BE A GREAT CHEF, NOT ONLY BEING GREAT BUT BEING TREMENDOUSLY”

-Jonathan I. Viray Jr-